My dad suggested that I write another post. He asked me if there was anything going on with my kids. I responded “there’s always stuff going on with my kids!”
This year I definitely struggle to sit down and write about what’s going on in my school and with my kids. Partially because I’m pretty exhausted by the end of the day. I already spend time with my kids, think about my kids, and almost every night, dream about them too. And partially because I struggle to believe that people out there want to know what’s going on with them.
One of my greatest internal battles this year is to believe that there is hope for the Napier community. Yup. I said it. I’ve been discouraged and hit with the stark reality that the journey I’m embarking on is nearly impossible. Think about how hopeless a 4x4 block of apartments with concrete floors and no a/c or heat is? Although originally the idea of “projects” was in an effort to help people, what it seems to have become now is a place to contain them. And within the Napier projects, is one of the most drug and crime infested communities in our city. Can you imagine what it’s like to live there? To be a 6 year old who just wants to go play outside, but cannot because people are “shooting from up top”.
Just last week alone, my school was put on 3 different lock-downs because of various crime outbreaks in the neighborhood. (The negative effects of living somewhere like this on a child's performance in school are great. I will write about that another time.)
Yet, within my struggle, God seems to be orchestrating the details of my life. He seems to be preparing and equipping me with all I need for whatever it is I am accomplishing and will accomplish. In the last few months, I’ve been reading a book about faith and revisiting stories in the Bible about “heroes of the faith”, I’ve been struck by the situations these people were in. If only I had time to sit down with each of you to discuss them all over a cup of coffee....
Anyway, Romans 4:18 in the New Living Translation says “Even when there was no hope, Abraham kept hoping- believing that he would become the father of many nations.”
Abraham was in a hopeless situation, yet still believed. (Read Genesis 15-22 for yourself.) He clung to the promise God had given him and believed that God was faithful and trustworthy. Read the story for yourself to see how it ended! :)
As I approach the end of year 2 of teaching, I strive to have Abraham's same faith. I sit here with eager expectation for God to change my heart, giving me hope against all hope.
2 comments:
Very good - as usual. Thanks for your honesty. There is always the temptation to become discouraged and wonder if things can really change when we face such great problems. But in these moments we cling to the fact that 1. God has called us, and 2. that we are making a difference for at least one. As we move forward with this view, every now and again we get a glimmer of hope and we see again through the eyes of faith that things can and will be different!
I admire you so much. I am blessed to have a friend in you. You heart is incredible. Love you.
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