My Classroom is a Furnace

I'm thankful today.

I was trying to teach my kids to verbalize what they are thankful for. We made a list.

After we talked about what being thankful means, they asked me what I was thankful for. I told them that this year I am MOST thankful for each of them. I went on and on about all the things I love about them and why I am happy they are in my life. They were grinning from ear to ear!

Here are a few things my kids have taught me this year:

I am not as kind, gracious or compassionate as I thought I was. 

It's hard to be loving at ALL times. 

I'm not good at giving people a clean slate each day.

It's okay when things don't go according to plan. 


I need to be willing to forgive my kids for their shortcomings, even when they will repeat the offense daily. 

It's important to take time to explain and teach things that aren't part of the curriculum- like about kindness, sharing, forgiving. 


Sometimes I have to be willing to stop what I'm doing to hold and love on my kids when they are upset.


In the Bible, the process of refining metals in fire is used as a metaphor for spiritual purification. For the past few months I've felt like I've been in a furnace. I feel like everything evil in me is being brought to the surface. Being in a room with very needy, troubled 6 years olds eight hours a day, five days a week really has the power to bring out the worst in you. What's most amazing is that I am so grateful for this process. As I teach my kids, I am learning equally as much. That is why i am thankful today. That God loves me enough to refine me and to use me to impact my 13.

BUT

In first grade the kids have to learn 220 sight words. They are high frequency words that are typically hard to sound out. Hence the name "sight words". They pretty much have to memorize most of them. There are 11 lists of 20 words. Most of my kids have been zipping through the words! I can't even believe how much they are learning! They are SPONGES.

But not Lil Vic. He barely knows his letters and sounds. I have been so burdened for this child for weeks. I lay in bed at night and think about how I'm going to teach him to read. I come up with clever ideas (usually when I'm trying to fall asleep at night) and then I try them out the next day. It is very draining. If this child doesn't learn to read this year his chances for success in the future are slim to none. There is very little support from anyone in my school as far as getting him specialized help. It is my RESPONSIBILITY to teach him.

For most of my kids I want them to learn a list of the 20 words in about 2-3 weeks. I realized this goal is too lofty for Lil V. His new goal is 1-2 WORDS per week.

AND BOY DID WE MEET THIS GOAL! Today, without help, he was able to use letter tiles to make the word "but". I nearly jumped out of my seat when he did it! He felt so proud and I praised him like crazy. To top it off, he completed a worksheet where he had to look at 12 different pictures and choose which letter was the beginning sound for each one. He got every one correct! Right in from of him I wrote a big "100" and he then walked around the room and showed his classmates! He was so proud of himself and my other kids praised his good work! It was a proud teacher moment for sure.

Today was one of those days when I was able to see my hard work pay off, even if it was just having him make the word "but". "But" not this one is what I want to say! Not this child. He wont fail. He wont end up on drugs or in jail like his parents.

Today's word is "but". What are you saying "but" to today?

Romans 5:3-4  "Not only so, BUT we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

"I want your brain"

 Has anyone ever told you that they want your brain?

Well, I was told that today by one of my students.

As I sat there trying to help him do his addition problems, he looked up at me and told me he wanted my brain. He proceeded to pretend to cut out my brain and put it in his head- sound effects and all!

I asked him why he wanted my brain. He said it was because I am smart. (On top of being told I’m pretty and funny daily, I have now been told I am smart! Another reason why I love my job!) I told him that he is also smart and he insisted that he wasn’t. That broke my heart. I went on to tell him that he is smart and that he just needs to work hard to get smarter and smarter!

Side note: I was talking to one of my principals today about the power of your words. I told her about my little guy who thinks he’ll never be smart. She encouraged me to continue to speak life into my students and I encourage you to speak life into the people you are around.

Driving home (in rush hour traffic) I was thinking about how I’ve never really wanted another human’s brain- but I sure do wish I could have a glimpse into God’s. Just like how my little guy felt like he’d never get a grasp on addition or be as smart as me, I am in a season where I feel like it’s hard to know what’s on God’s mind for my life.

When my little brother was quite young my parents were believing for a huge financial breakthrough. My little brother boldly stated that we don’t need money, all we need is God’s mind.

I’m praying for God’s mind in this season. And I’m praying that my little guy realizes that he has a very special brain, not to be traded for anyone's. 

Inconvenient: the 13th

I got another new student today. 

I started the year with 12 students. Lost one a few weeks in. Got a new one a few weeks ago and then another new one today. So now I have 13.

13 is an inconvenient number. Pairing the students to do activities doesn't work very well with an odd number. Getting a new student without notice in the middle of the day is also inconvenient. Finding a name plate for the new kid's desk and a locker that is empty for her stuff and a place for her in the line order are all inconvenient. Explaining the behavior system, schedule and procedures are inconvenient too.

But if I wanted a "convenient" job I would have worked at the country club across the street from my house.

Inconvenient is the name of the game if you or I want to make some sort of difference in the world.

I emailed my mom, Savannah and Amy mid-day today to ask them to pray that I have grace for one more child. Here are a few things they each said:

Savannah: "God has you there & god put Jakiya in your class for a reason!"

Amy: "You're so strong!!  I will begin to pray for her."

Mom: "Trusting that every child that comes through your door is brought by God, and needs to have you in his or her life."

Sometimes it's good to let people know you're feeling inconvenienced. They will quickly remind you of what's important.

Golf Carts vs. Police Cars

As most of you know, Monday was Halloween. I’ve never been a huge fan of this Holiday. Mostly because I don’t like scary things. And because I think the decorations are ugly.

Here’s what happened on Monday: I left work around 5:15pm. As I drove past the housing projects my kids live in, there were kids everywhere! They were trick-or-treating in broad daylight. (Also, there were police cars circling the neighborhood.)

Then I went home to my job of handing out candy to kids in my neighborhood.

Each time the doorbell rang, I opened the door and saw kids in fancy costumes being chauffeured to each house by their parents driving golf carts. 

It was dark, there were no cops, AND they were riding in golf carts instead of walking!

It really messed me up.

It’s not fair that my kids live in such a dangerous environment where they aren’t even safe outside during the day.

It’s also not fair for the kids in my neighborhood to think that it’s normal to trick-or-treat with a personal golf cart chauffeur.

To both a disservice is being done.